Job doesn’t hold back when he lets God know how angry he is: “I can't stand my life - I hate it! I'm putting it all out on the table, all the bitterness of my life - I'm holding back nothing” (Job 10:1 MSG).
God knew Job was upset. He just wanted Job to admit it, to get it off his chest.
The start healing is by revealing it. To get over emotional hurts, you have to share them with somebody.
Some of you are angry for things that happened in the past. The starting point is to say, “God, I’m still upset". God is not going to fry you with a thunderbolt if you confess your feelings.
What is it in your life that you're pretending not to know? What hurt in your marriage/ relationship are you pretending is not there? What conflict in your family are you pretending isn't true?
You need to face up to it. That's the first step.
Maybe you’re trying to bury your past, but it keeps resurrecting itself. There are triggers everywhere that keep the memory alive. It keeps popping back because you haven’t dealt with it.
Close the door, move on to the present. Where you've been doesn’t matter. No closure without disclosure.
Talk About It
Try writing to God. He understands and he’s just waiting for you to talk to him about it. Putting your feelings on paper will help you express your heart to God.
-R. Warren
When you’re angry, don’t respond impulsively. Delay few minutes is a great tool in controlling it. Not saying delay indefinitely. The Bible says "don't let the sun go down while you are still angry".
When you start to get ticked off, take "time out". Give yourself time to reflect and think things through. Otherwise, you are likely to do the wrong thing.
We need to make a habit of stepping back, wait few minutes and look at the situation from God's point of view.
The Bible says a wise man lets his anger cool down (Proverbs 29:11). So, "cool it".
A modern translation might be: “The wise man waits and chills out.”
Thomas Jefferson, the author of the Declaration of Independence, said, “When angry, count to ten before you speak. If very angry, count to one hundred.”
A rebel shouts in anger; a wise man holds his temper in and cools it." (Proverbs 29:11 TLB)
Talk About It
Understanding the reason for your anger will give you greater patience and even the ability to overlook an offense (Proverbs 19:11). Ask yourself three questions to help you understand why you are angry:
- Why am I angry?
- What do I really want?
- How can I get it?
-DH
Long before psychology, God said your thoughts determine your feelings and your feelings determine your actions. If you want to change your life, you have to control the way you think.
You're constantly talking to yourself!
Research indicates that most people speak at a rate of 150 to 200 words per minute, but the mind can listen to 500 to 600 words a minute. That's why you can listen and do something at the same time. Our internal dialogue is at a rate of 1,300 words per minute. How? Because our mind sees in pictures, you can see a thought in a nanosecond!
The problem is that a lot of us are like Job, who says, "Everything I say seems to condemn me" (Job 9:20). He's saying, "Everything I say puts me down."
If you are typical to the human race, you are your own worst critic.
We often put ourselves down. When you say negative things, you're really pointing to the Creator who made you.
How do you eliminate negative self-talk so you can become a more confident person?
The Bible teaches the principle of replacement.
Fix your thoughts on what's true, good and right. Think about the things you are thankful for and be glad. In other words, don't think about your weaknesses. Focus on positivity.
"Father, thank you that I am valuable; I am significant; I am forgivable; I am capable."
Be careful how you think; your life is shaped by your thoughts." (Proverbs 4:23 GN)
-DH
